Requiem for a Lightweight Bob's Backstop for March 24, 2005

I'm sick of it all.

You've finally won.

I have my family to think of.

My own mental health.

And I'm tired of getting kicked around.

So I'm quitting.

Yeah, you heard me.

Quitting.

I'm sick of all the whispers.

Yeah, I've heard them all.

Tried to ignore them, just move along, do my thing...but after awhile, it gets to you.

And I know that's what so many out there wanted to happen.

So now it has.

I quit.

Yeah, I've heard it all. The whispers that only two guys putting out a page must mean they are on the juice. The kickbacks to Jim Beattie and Mike Flanagan for talking to us. The DUI coverups. The arrests ( how was I supposed to know that Yankee fan was a judge?). The testimony before Congress. The IRS investigations.

All a coincidence.

I've told you all since Day One...we run a clean, drug-free shop around here, with the rare occasion of my writing an article under the influence of Jack Daniels. But why the dobnle stnadrs? If its gooddd enog fur thew Red Socks, why isnt it gobf emnmdf for usss?

But just protesting my innocence isn't good enough. Just because my fingers have gotten so big I had to have a special keyboard made, my mistresses are all writing tell-all books, there are two white panel vans with dark window glass parked outside my house 24 hours a day, and every once in awhile I GET SO %##$%^^ MAD I WANT TO KILL SOMETHING, that's no reason for this constant harassment. Doesn't a person's word count for anything any more?

So, it's come to this.

I've played all the cards. The Pity card. The Race card. The Fairness card. The "Show Me the Proof" card. The Arrogance card.

Now all I have left is the "Get Out of Jail Free" card.

I hope it's still valid.

But it's time.

I've simply had enough.

Just look at the eyes of my kid, here.

Well, okay, I don't have a kid.

Look at my cat, then.

She's strung so tight these days she makes John McEnroe look like Joe Torre.

This has simply got to stop.

Time for me to make a stand.

It's all about my integrity, my family, the legacy of this web page.

Honest.

Besides, I can still write about the Orioles from the Dutch Antilles.

Just don't be surprised if your e-mail comments are returned as undeliverable.