As you have doubtless heard, the University of Georgia recently released a copy of the final exam (the only test given) in assistant coach Jim Harrick Jr.'s "Principles and Strategies of Basketball" class in 2001.  (In case you missed it, click here for an overview.)  In a truly remarkable coincidence, some scrounging around in the bowels of the Warehouse (doesn't that conjure up some pleasant images?) has unearthed a similar test developed by Syd Thrift in 1999 and administered to every player that the Orioles considered drafting through the end of his reign as Orioles Vice President of Baseball Operations in December of 2002.  

The information about this test will surely cause some to recall that the Orioles now make heavy use of the Athletic Success Profile, overseen by the Winslow Research Institute of Antioch, California, a psychological profile designed to measure a set of 11 attributes (drive, aggressiveness, endurance, leadership, self-confidence, emotional control, mental toughness, coachability, conscientiousness, responsibility and trust).  While the point of the Thrift Thrifty Athletic Evaluation Exam may, in theory, be similar to the ASP, it wouldn't be entirely accurate to regard the two as identical...but we'll let you draw your own conclusions.

Thrift's Thrifty Athletic Evaluation Exam, Questions 1-20

1.    How many innings are there in a 9-inning game?

        a) several
        b) more than 10
        c) six
        d) nine

2.    Which of the following teams isn't a member of the American League East Division?

        a) Orioles
        b) Yankees
        c) Red Sox
        d) Manchester United

3.   George Steinbrenner is:

        a) a megalomaniac
        b) a loud-mouthed megalomaniac
        c) an insufferable, loud-mouthed megalomaniac
        d) all of the above

4.    Where do the Orioles currently play their home games?

        a) Memorial Stadium
        b) Yankee Stadium
        c) Ralph Kramden's Yard
        d) Oriole Park at Camden Yards

5.   At what point in a baseball game does the seventh inning stretch take place?

        a) Between the national anthem and the first pitch
        b) Before the national anthem and the first pitch
        c) After the first pitch but before the national anthem
        d) Before the national anthem but after the first pitch
        e) Between the top and bottom of the seventh inning

6.    How many pitches are involved in a four-pitch walk?

        a) A whole bunch
        b) Twelve
        c) Less than two
        d) Four

7.    Who holds the longest consecutive games streak at Baltimore home games?  

        a) Ernie Tyler
        b) David Segui
        c) Omar Daal
        d) Glenn Davis
        e) The Lemon Chill Vendor

8.    In what city do the Baltimore Orioles play their home games?  

        a) Baltimore
        b) Washington, D.C.
        c) Montreal
        d) San Juan
        e) Norfolk

9.    A train leaves York, Pennsylvania at 3 PM with the wind blowing out of the west at 14 MPH; another train on the same track leaves Poughkeepsie, New York at 3:45 PM with the wind blowing out of the north at 8 MPH.  At exactly 4:12 PM, someone places three quarts of WD-30 motor oil on the track at Corning, New York.  If the corporation that owns the track doesn't discover the oil until 5:08 PM, what is the price of one soggy crab cake at Camden Yards?

                _________________________

10.    How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

                _________________________

11.    When the Orioles host their 3:05 businessman's special, what time does the game begin?

        a) High Noon
        b) The Witching Hour
        c) 9 AM
        d) Shortly after 3:05 

12.    Which of the following players won a Cy Young Award as a member of the Orioles?

        a) Terry Mathews
        b) Norm Charlton
        c) Jay Tibbs
        d) Doug Drabek
        e) Jim Palmer

13.  The Orioles' team colors are:

        a) pink and green
        b) lavender and chartreuse
        c) grapefruit and lime
        d) peaches and herb
        e) orange and black

14.    In your opinion, which of the following prospective team slogans best represents the Orioles' aura?

        a) God, We're Awful...But What the Hell, Come Out to the Park Anyway?
        b) Orioles Baseball at the Yard:  Eat Here and Get Gas
        c) Orioles Dippin' Dots Baseball:  The Overpriced Sport of the Present
        d) Orioles Baseball:  What Better Way for a Family of Four to Drop a Couple of Hundred Bucks
        e) Orioles Baseball:  Come Watch the Kids Play...and Suffer Season-Ending Injuries, All in the Same Evening

15.    The "Jumbotron" is:

        a) A large, but technically, circus elephant
        b) The largest size of soft drink offered at Camden Yards
        c) An oversized ATM
        d) A large, frequently obnoxious device used to entertain marginal baseball fans at the ballpark

16.    The Orioles team mascot is a:

        a) Bird
        b) Spore
        c) Very large rock
        d) Very small rock
        e) Fat...toad

17.    Your first name is:

        a) Sonny
        b) Whathisface
        c) Buddy
        d) Dude
        e) Something proprietary

18.    Now how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

        _________________________

19.    In your opinion, who is the most intelligent, clever and honest Vice President of Baseball Operations in Major League Baseball?

        a) Syd Thrift
        b) Mike Flanagan
        c) Spiro Agnew
        d) It's a trick question; there are no Vice Presidents of Baseball Operations in Major League Baseball
         

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