PIÑATAFEST 2006 @ BIRDS IN THE BELFRY

The 2006 Kerry's Piñata Award Contenders
With apologies to Winston Churchill, never have so many pitched so badly so that so few could be entertained so endlessly.  2006 was a miserable year for Orioles pitchers; in fact, the 2006 season was the second worst ERA an Orioles team has ever posted (2000 was the worst).  I have never had a year where there were more legitimate Piñata candidates than were available at the close of the 2006 season.

Let's get the lesser and pseudo candidates out of the way first, and then we can focus on the dessert (such as it is):  the three pitchers who were undoubtedly deserving of the Award--the finalists.

The Flawed Options
Daniel Cabrera drew brief consideration simply because of his horrific walk mark.  Cabrera walked 6.32 batters per nine innings in 2006, the fifth worst mark in modern major league history by a pitcher with at least 140 innings pitched and the highest since another Oriole, Bob Turley, in 1954.  Cabrera also uncorked 17 wild pitches.  The problem was that other than the wildness, Cabrera wasn't only not bad--he was very good.  He allowed fewer than eight hits per nine innings; he surrendered only 11 home runs in nearly 150 innings; he struck out better than 9.5 batters per nine innings.  His ERA was more than a half a run lower than the staff average.  Cabrera was basically a pitcher with a problem--that's "problem," singular.  Piñatas don't have a problem; Piñatas are a problem.

Adam Loewen was more or less a junior version of Daniel Cabrera in that he had the same weakness (control) and strengths...but the weakness and strengths weren't as acute.  He allowed fewer hits than innings pitched, kept the ball in the ballpark and struck out far above the league average per nine innings.  The problem was that he walked nearly five men per nine innings.  In a year on an otherwise strong staff, Loewen might have received some serious consideration for the Award, but in 2006 he scarcely registered on the radar screen.

Hayden Penn didn't meet the basic criteria for consideration, but he was so bad when he did pitch that he merits a mention.  Penn, in six starts, barely averaged three innings an appearance (which says something all by itself).  Penn's relevant data--24.25 baserunners per nine innings; as many home runs allowed (eight) as strikeouts in his 19.2 innings of work; a K/BB ratio of 0.62; an ERA of 15.10.  I think it's fair to say that if he'd met the minimal appearance criteria, Hayden would be our boy.  But, alas, he did not.

There were plenty of relief versions of Hayden Penn--pitchers who were beyond-words-horrible, led by the one-two lefty/righty punch of Tim Byrdak and Jim Brower.  Had they been one person--Browdak, say--they might have taken the Piñata Award home to their hybrid mantle with the following combined numbers:  28 G, 19.1 IP, 35 H, 3 HR, 21 BB, 11 SO, 13.50 ERA.  But Byrdak and Brower were not one person, despite a surprising amount of circumstantial evidence to the contrary.

The Finalists
Let's move on to the finalists.  There were three of them this year and I think, after apt consideration, you'll agree that all three were worthy of winning the Award.  In fact, in absence of the other two, all three would have been no-doubt Piñata Award winners.

In alphabetical order...

Bruce Chen was multiple shades of dreadful for the Orioles in 2006. Chen began the season in the starting rotation and was banished to the bullpen after 12 starts to protect those sitting in the outfield seats from falling debris; he subsequently made 28 appearances in relief.  The final results were brutal:  40 G, 12 GS, 0-7, 6.93 ERA, 98.2 IP, 137 H, 28 HR, 35 BB, 70 SO.  Chen's walk and strikeout numbers were okay--not great, but not horrible.  But the hits allowed (12.5 per nine innings) mark was the second worst in baseball among pitchers with at least 75 IP, and the home runs...Chen surrendered a remarkable 2.55 gopher balls per nine innings.  Chen was the only pitcher with fewer than 100 innings pitched to allow more than 21 home runs in 2006 and his HR/9IP mark was the worst in baseball for pitchers with at least 70 innings pitched.  I think we can all agree that Bruce Chen qualified as a Piñata in the most literal sense.

Rodrigo Lopez's raw numbers weren't quite as bad as Chen's, but given how much R-Lo pitched, he was remarkably awful.  Lopez started 29 games for the Orioles (with seven relief appearances to boot) in 2006 and finished second on the team in innings pitched, just 7.1 IP behind Erik Bedard.  For what amounts to a full-time member of a team's pitching rotation, Lopez was truly dreadful.  The base numbers:  36 G, 29 GS, 9-18, 5.90 ERA, 189 IP, 234 H, 32 HR, 59 BB, 136 SO.  Of those qualifying for the ERA title last year, Lopez had the fourth worst ERA in baseball; his 11.14 H/9IP mark was the sixth worst in the majors among ERA title qualifiers.  He tied for eighth in the majors in most home runs allowed and finished sixth in HR/9IP among ERA title qualifiers.  If there's a questionable part of choosing Lopez for the Piñata Award it's in the same area as Chen--the strikeout and walk numbers are acceptable--better than acceptable in the case of the walks.  But the rest of the performance would seem to overwhelm that consideration.

Russ Ortiz is the weakest candidate in terms of opportunity, but the best in terms of performance.  After the Diamondbacks released Ortiz after a miserable couple of months to begin the year (following a horrible season in 2005, and swallowing more than $20M in owed future salary in the process), the Orioles picked the right-hander up on waivers and decided to see if pitching coach Leo Mazzone could work any magic with him.  Nope.  Ortiz just barely met the minimum appearance criteria with the Orioles (40.1 IP over 20 G, five starts) and was a whole new category of bad:  0-3, 8.48 ERA, 59 H, 15 HR, 18 BB, 23 SO.  The only issue was whether he was bad enough to overcome lesser shades of poor performance in significantly greater opportunities by competitors.

The 2006 Kerry's Piñata Award Winner
The envelope please.

[House lights dim.  Spotlight shines on the lectern in the center of the dais.  A fast snare drum roll starts softly and gradually increases in volume.]

The man of the hour...the lucky award winner...the individual with the Performance Best Resembling a Piñata in a Starring Role, is...

Russ Ortiz!  Everyone on your feet!  Let's have a big round of applause, ladies and gentlemen, for this year's top fiesta implement:

RUSS ORTIZ, 2006

The answer to the question posed above:  was Ortiz bad enough to overcome lesser shades of poor performance in significantly greater opportunities by competitors?  That's a big, fat yes.  As tough a choice as this seemed, I think I always knew that Ortiz was going to be the guy.  I found myself, during the final month of the season, hoping that Russ would meet the longstanding Piñata Award criteria for consideration.  I also found myself wondering whether I'd feel justified in amending the rules to make an exception for Ortiz if he didn't meet the performance criteria, or whether I'd feel vindicated if I amended his statistics by assuming that he had scoreless innings (ha) to fill out the minimum IP criterion.  Sometimes mind-numbingly bad performance trumps frequency.  This is one of those times.

It's not a formal part of the process, but I think it's instructive to consider Ortiz's combined stats (what's shown above is limited to the damage he did while in an Orioles uniform).  Between his time with Arizona and Baltimore, here's what Ortiz managed for 2006 as a whole:

For pitchers with at least 60 innings, Ortiz's 8.14 combined ERA is the 20th worst mark in modern major league history.

His 8.48 ERA with the Orioles is the worst in the team's history (40 IP minimum).  It is worth noting that the second and third worst marks (Jimmy Haynes in 1996 and Scott Erickson in 2000 respectively), were also compiled by Piñata Award honorees.  

Just look at how Ortiz managed to assemble putrid numbers in every significant pitching category:  while with the Orioles, he allowed 13.17 H/9IP, walked a bit more than four batters per nine innings, compiled that ERA of nearly 8.5, and allowed a staggering 15 home runs--an incredible 3.35 HR/9IP.  That was Chen's "strong" suit and Ortiz was far worse.  I found it impossible to ignore this level of ineptitude.

And so we can only hope that Ortiz suffers the fate of all previous Piñata Award honorees:  no previous Piñata Award winner threw a pitch for the Orioles in the season following his acceptance of this special trophy.  With any luck, Oritz's main competitors in 2006 will be similarly affected.

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