PIÑATAFEST 2005 @ BIRDS IN THE BELFRY

The 2005 Kerry's Piñata Award Recipient
There were a number of decent candidates for the 2005 Piñata Award, but truth be told, this was one of the easier decisions I've had to make over the years.

The envelope please.

[House lights dim.  Spotlight shines on the lectern in the center of the dais.  A fast snare drum roll starts softly and gradually increases in volume.]

The man of the hour...the lucky award winner...the individual with the Performance Best Resembling a Piñata in a Starring Role, is...Sidney Ponson!  Everyone on your feet!  Let's have a big round of applause, ladies and gentlemen, for this year's top fiesta implement:

SIDNEY PONSON, 2005

As I mentioned, there were several other candidates who gave it their all in pursuit of this coveted award.

Jorge Julio continued his freefall by turning in his worst season as a professional, allowing a grotesque 14 home runs in 71.2 innings pitched and posting an ERA of 5.90, truly abysmal for a short relief pitcher.  But Jorge showed some positive signs; he walked barely three men per nine innings (the best mark of his career and, actually, removing the four intentional walks he issued puts Julio well down into the twos, hardly the stuff of a legitimate Piñata).  Julio also allowed a below league average 12.81 baserunners per nine innings and struck out a respectable, if unspectacular, 7.28 per nine innings.  Basically, Julio had a home run problem; it was a big problem, but it was a problem, singular.  Real Piñata Award winners are multi-dimensional in their incompetence; Julio just didn't fit the bill.

John Maine posted a 6.30 ERA and surrendered eight home runs in 40 innings, but he allowed fewer hits than innings pitched and he did only pitch the 40 innings.  He was a contender, but he didn't really pitch badly enough or often enough to have the true negative impact that we've come to expect from Piñata Award recipients.

Steve Reed was probably Ponson's stiffest competition for the Award.  Reed really did nothing well, which is a plus in his quest for the hardware.  He allowed 15.43 BR/9IP; he allowed 11.3 H/9IP, including five home runs in 32.2 IP.  He fanned only 4.13 men per nine innings, and posted an ERA of 6.60, which is just pathetic for a pitcher who faced fewer than five men per appearance.  But Ponson was arguably worse than Reed and in far more innings--meaning that the impact of his awfulness was greater...or less.  Whatever.

Steve Kline--the left-handed component of the "Two Steves" twin bullpen disaster--was motoring along in serious Piñata contention for the entire first half of the season, and into the second half.  At the All-Star break, Kline had an ERA of 5.57 and had allowed seven home runs while walking 21 in 32.2 IP.  After the break, Kline's ERA dipped to 2.83; his HR rate was cut in half; his walk rate fell below three per inning.  Over the final two months, Kline's ERA was roughly two; he held opponents to an average of barely .200; he didn't allow a home run after August 19 (12 appearances).  Kline was too competent late in the season to win the Award.  Had he kept up his first half pace he might well have nailed down the hardware, but you have to be more consistently bad to be a Piñata award winner.  Kline's final ERA was 4.28 with fewer hits allowed than innings pitched.  Kline just wasn't bad enough long enough to be the honoree. 

Hayden Penn, Eric DuBose and Jason Grimsley were all tertiary considerations, but none met the qualification criteria; it's unlikely that even a pro-rated performance would have outdone our esteemed victor in any event.

Ponson has been disappointing Orioles fans for years and he really outdid himself in 2005.  Without getting into his off-field foibles, Sir Sidney stunk it up regularly before being suspended and shut down by the club late in the season.  Ponson allowed 12.22 hits per nine innings in 2005, the worst mark of any pitcher in either league with at least 75 innings pitched.  His 15.74 BR/9IP was the second worst among big league pitchers with at least 130 IP (only Al Leiter was worse), and the worst among American Leaguers with at least 105 innings pitched.  Sidney fanned a career worst 4.7 batters per nine innings and posted an ERA of 6.21 (also a career worst) in a league with a 4.36 earned run average despite pitching his home games in the second most pitcher-friendly ballpark in the American League.  Only two pitchers with at least 130 IP managed worse ERAs than Ponson--Jose Lima and Eric Milton and only Lima had a higher park-adjusted earned run average.

Ponson has been a finalist for the Piñata Award before, but always found himself playing the bridesmaid role.  This year, Sidney snagged the trophy the old fashioned way--he eaaaarned it.

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