Lessons from Scrooge

by Bob Bryant - December 24, 2003

At one point in his one-sided ruminations with the silent Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, Scrooge speaks of the intermingling of great sadness and great joy in the Christmases he had viewed with all three ghosts, of Christmases long ago, and of the present day, and then in his future. This is the case, of course, because Christmas is a reflection of life, and happens to be one of those times that many of us use like a birthday...as a marker, a signpost - a time to look back, to look forward, to take stock of the richness or want of one's life. It's also a time to see life through the eyes of a child, both in our own past experiences, and again, perhaps, through the eyes of our own children, or those of the children around us.

My own experiences have been greatly heightened in the past year, through intermingling circumstances that I see as no accident. Through the auspices of Classmates, I have begun communicating with many long-lost friends, some of whom are now no more than curiousities, as time, distance, and lack of a common experience have reduced our relationship to a "how are you?" basis. Others, however, seemed to be right in synch, as if the thirty-plus years that have passed were actually only thirty-plus minutes.

As many of you know, I am in the midst of attempting to address, both in celebration and in regret, many of the issues of my own life, and those of a few others of whom I am aware, in a novel format, the story being set in my hometown childhood on 1963 and beyond. In another "happy circumstance", I attended my first ever class reunion this Thanksgiving weekend. The book that accompanied the experience gave me access to many other old classmates through their addresses, and about 50 Christmas Cards went out to folks I hadn't seen in many years. A few answered in meaningful fashion, eliciting a number of emotions. One friend reminisced of a local singing costume revue he and I had participated in as high school students. Another, my first true love, apologized for dumping me before the Senior Prom thirty-two years ago. Still another shared with me the tragedy of the death of a dear mutual friend in 1980, a loss of which I had been made aware, but was never privy to the circumstances surrounding the loss. This shook me for days upon discovering what had happened to my friend, as well as being dismayed for not having dug deeper into the meager information I had been given at the time, since I was in one of my own 'black moods" when he had passed away. Great sadness, mingled with great joy. The stuff of life.

I have previously shared with all of you the story of the brick from my elementary school that sits on my desk. I thought that my occasional visits to the grounds where my school had once stood, and the presence of the brick, might well be seen by others as some sort of unhealthy pre-occupation with the past, at the potential expense of the present, or future. Heck, I've seen it that way myself from time to time. It's not likely this will be the case in the future. I shared this story with a number of my old classmates at the reunion, and I got no weird stares, or dismissive gestures. Mostly what I saw was gratitude; in my own sharing of those deep reflective feelings, I opened the way for them to tell their own stories...and more than one person asked, "Are there still any bricks there? I'd love to go get one before I go back home."

As both George Bailey and Ebenezer Scrooge discovered, it really IS a Wonderful Life. No man who has friends of the heart is a failure, and there is always a chance to begin again, to live our lives with a note of hope, to change our ending. The recent fortunes of our own beloved Orioles reflects this...from long-storied history, to a period of darkness, from which the ball club we follow may at last be emerging.

The world too often seems to never change. Evil forces abound;  greed and avarice, small-mindedness, and thoughtlessness too often seem to be the order of the day in our ever-coarsening society. Our troops, as is the case too often, are at risk, away from their loved ones at the holidays. The world seems hellbent on destruction.

Just as we all bitch and moan about baseball, and the way the game too often reflects society today, we lament the state of our society, and cast our hopes hither and yon, looking for a redeemer, a savior to lead us out of the wilderness.

Whether or not you are a religious person, we do intuit somehow that the answer to all of this lies within ourselves. Whether it is there by the hand of God, a Creator, or just whether it's "there" of its own accord, its presence is unmistakable, if we allow ourselves to stop and take note of it once in awhile.

Scrooge never stopped long enough, and became lost in the very world that he had lamented as a boy, the same world that had cast him out, found him wanting. George Bailey was actually the Bizarro Scrooge...his selflessness and constant self-sacrifice wore him down to the point where one cataclysmic event took him over the edge, to the point where he wished to throw it all away and cash in his chips, rather than to commit to the pursuit of the world of wealth that had cheapened the soul of Scrooge. Neither of them were in tune with themselves, and the world around them, to live in any sort of harmony, and the world was a lesser place for it until the interventions of others made their respective lives, upon reflection, worth living again.

I hope that this holiday season of friends, family, memories and miracles is a meaningful one for you, and yours. A year ago, I was in my hometown this very day of  Christmas Eve, waiting to see my father for the first time in six months, only to have the whole thing fall apart. We've not spoken in person since. It does sadden me, but I understand that life is full of disappointments, and pain, and sorrows, as well as joy, and surprises, and unconditional love. A life whose tapestry is rich and full teems with both elements, not just one. May we, like George and Ebenezer, learn the trick of keeping the two in balance and perspective, whether we do so in a secular or religious approach.

As I've heard the life stories of so many over the past year, I am reminded of the words of Jacob Marley when he rebukes Scrooge at one point in their initial confrontation: "Mankind should be our business, Ebenezer, but we seldom attend to it."

And later, the Ghost of Christmas Present reminds Scrooge, "There are more to do and see in this world than there is time. The trick is to do as much as possible with the time one had been given, for one day, you won't be there any more."

I leave you for a few days with this holiday gift to you, sage words from the Tao te Ching, "the book" of Zen:

In dwelling, live close to the ground.

In thinking, keep to the simple.

In conflict, be fair and generous.

In governing, don't try to control.

In work, do what you enjoy.

In family life, be completely present.

Happy Holidays, everyone! The Belfry will be back on Sunday!

bob