I'm not ordinarily particularly judgmental when it comes to baseball players' personalities, but even I have a hard time avoiding the conclusion that David Wells is MLB's biggest "horse's patutte."  Wells tendency to stick his foot in his mouth is hard to fathom until one considers the size of his trap.  (A hint--it's considerable.)

There's the temptation to think that Wells has become worse in this regard lately, but that's just World Series spin.  "Boomer" has been making an idiot of himself for years.

What is noteworthy is that Wells has become a living symbol of the old adage, what goes around comes around.

In 2001, early in his short, tempestuous stay with the Chicago White Sox, David Wells publicly and directly criticized Frank Thomas for not playing hurt.  Thomas needed to "suck it up" and play, Wells said at the time.  Wells couldn't claim to have been misquoted because the rant took place on his own radio show, and wasn't even in response to a question.  (What Wells was doing with a radio show in the first place is another matter.)

It was an outrageous statement to make under the best of circumstances; a player publicly calling a teammate a selfish goldbrick--which is essentially what Wells did--is a complete violation of protocol and generally just a lousy thing to do.  But this wasn't the best of circumstances.  For one thing, it turned out Thomas had a torn triceps muscle which required surgery and put him out for the season.  Ooops.  For another thing, Wells, less than two months later, pulled himself from the starting rotation--so much for sucking it up--and ultimately underwent season ending surgery to repair a herniated disc.

Thomas took the high road.  Despite having ample reason (and support) to lambaste Wells, to this day, Thomas has never taken the bait saying that Wells was just speaking his mind and that he didn't hold it against him.  Wells, on the other hand, has gone sunk to new lows over the years.

Prior to the start of this season, Wells wrote an absurd "autobiography," full of wild, ill-considered statements and remarks.  Wells, who reportedly had editorial control over the manuscript, again couldn't claim that he was misquoted or spoke off the cuff...this was a book, for crying out loud.

Now we return to the present.  Wells, who has been criticized for his conditioning--or lack thereof--for years made light of the matter again in a press conference this past Wednesday in Miami.  The Boomer said that he had a "rubber arm" and didn't have to work out.  "Just goes to show you don't have to bust your butt every day to be successful."  The statement seemed to be something of a jab in the eye of teammates Roger Clemens and Andy Pettite, both well-known for their punishing workouts.

"I'll leave the working out and conditioning to those guys forever," Wells stated.  "They can write a book and do videos.  They can make money on that on how to last 20 years in the big leagues by conditioning.  I'll write the one 'How Not to Work Out.'"

The next day, Wells lasted eight pitches before leaving with back spasms.  In the process, his team was left short-handed.  Jose Contreras had limited time to warm up and was coming off a two-inning performance the night before.  Not surprisingly, Contreras wasn't sharp and the end result was a Yankees' loss.  One can only wonder if Wells was even 1/4 as diligent as Clemens in his personal habits if Wells wouldn't be less plagued with back flare ups.

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In some ways Wells and his ultimate boss, George Steinbrenner, are peas in a pod.  They're both rather full of themselves and both have a penchant for saying things with little concern about the consequences.  

Given Steinbrenner's tendency to perceive a lack of commitment or concern from his employees--witness his somewhat bizarre public undressing of Derek Jeter before this season--it's somewhat surprising that The Boss hasn't laid into Wells.  Surprising, that is, until one remembers that the only reason Wells is a member of the Yankees was his private channel deal with Steinbrenner prior to the 2002 season.  By all accounts, Brian Cashman wanted nothing to do with Wells, and Joe Torre was indifferent to the move at best.  Steinbrenner made the arrangement with Wells--who, by agreeing to the contract, reneged on an oral agreement with Jerry Colangelo and the Arizona Diamondbacks--on his own.

Even the bombastic Steinbrenner had to see the irony in doing what he had to be itching all over to do--rip Wells a new one.  But George had gotten himself into this mess without anyone else to blame and everyone knew it...so Steinbrenner remains eerily silent on the matter.

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Ultimately what it comes down to with Wells is the gross hypocrisy and unbridled stupidity of what he says and does much of the time.  If he was worth the time of day, he'd publicly apologize to Thomas, for instance.  That, in fact, is the minimum he should do.  Perhaps the absurdity of calling someone a fraud and a poor teammate for not playing in pain--implying all the while that Thomas wasn't "really" hurt--just days before he was diagnosed with a season-ending injury and then himself packing it in weeks later is lost on Wells.  Perhaps the sheer idiocy of bragging about his lack of a conditioning regimen one day before pulling himself after one inning in the fifth game of the World Series is beyond his capacity to comprehend.

Perhaps Mr. Suck-It-Up needs to take a long, hard look in the mirror...but somehow, I doubt he owns one.

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